Gains optimization package?

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This is a partial answer, but hopefully will point in the right direction.

Many PID tuning tools (like Mathematica's or Matlab's) require as input the plant model. Typically you don't have the plant model, so it's something you have to experimentally identify. Again, there are tools out there for doing this. From the ROS side, what would be desirable then is tooling to simplify the process of gathering the data for identifying the plant.

There are some very basic building blocks you can leverage, but it's not a press-play solution, you need to stitch the parts together yourself. For instance, the control_toolbox package has a tool for doing sine sweeps, which can be fed to the actuators and the recorded output in turn fed to an identification tool.

Since PID tuning is not something you do all the time, a tight coupling with the identification and tuning tool is not required IMO. Having something that excites your plant and records the data in a format usable by these tools should be enough. This is still a fair amount of work, and I've never tried it in simulation.