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1)

both nodes subscribe and publish to "/my_topic" using TCPROS.

don't do that. You're not going to know what came from who unless you encoded it in the message, but either way there's going to be alot (50%) of waste both nodes have to deal with. Triggering callbacks to decode wasteful messages isn't "free". Just use 2 topics /my_topic/A & /my_topic/B or something.

2) Yes, there are 2, each connection will get one. Without g oing deeper into the ros comms layers, I don't believe that is possible (or even if you did).