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Again a very late answer:

The only way that I have been able to make things work with SOEM and ROS is to implement the drivers for the devices you need yourself. This typically involved going over the examples, reading the relevant documentation (that you linked to) and a lot of trial an error.

You should also read up on the protocol you use (most often this is actually CoE, which requires a deeper understanding of CanOpen on the one hand, and how this realtes to EtherCAT on the other, which makes things even more confusing).